iloveyou-too

I'm bending over nauseated and sick of myself I want to die and never ever come back everything I touch I eat I purge everything I eat adds to the massive weight that is me please please let me be thin let me be thin enough to need help let me be that girl who everyone looks at and whispers how thin she's gotten let me be the girl who you are afraid to touch and break let me be the girl who broke and died and was remembered I bend over the toilet smiling "I will be pretty."

I kneel on the floor, my insides running from my body Into a porcelain bowl of repentance and hatred I know not who I am, where I'm going, but somehow It doesn't matter anymore, I am no one and I am nothing. I stare in the mirror at a stranger with tears in her eyes and Blood running from her mouth With a broken heart and eyes that see too much fat Everywhere on herself She needs to be thin, thin, beautiful. I watch as she copies my movements, and I copy hers, Pretending to live, acting all the time Makeup, makeup, no food, makeup No food, binge purge, binge purge, no food. I lie on the floor now, exercising myself until I die

i. Once upon a time I heard you Whisper soft and slow, just to me, To me, and I heard your heart Beating through your Chest for me, For me, with the stars in our eyes. [They shone brighter than I ever could] I saw the light pass through me and into you, Into you, filling you with beauty and Grace, as I stood limp I stood limp, and in the Shadow of you. [I slunk into the darkness like a scared puppy] ii. You have been delivered from evil Delivered, and I am here as still as A pillar of salt, with the Mark of Cain The Mark of Cain, I am a wanderer, cursed forever [I tumble into nothingness, sinking down, down] You dance t

Nothing feels the same, my love, now that you've gone away, I feel so empty and alone, now.  I wish you could have stayed. I wish I'd called you for ten minutes, my love, so you hadn't left so soon So now I take a moment and gaze up into the moon I appreciate it for you, my love, because I know you loved it so, I remember feeling so endless, and dancing to and fro Singing into the starlight with you, my love, and walking on the grass The moment in my mind stays frozen, I never want it to pass. You're gone now, my love, and much too far away, Bu I'm hoping you will hear my voice and what I have to say, Because I miss you much too muc

Opposite magnets will fly apart, I tried to tell you that right from the start. I always said you'd give up on me, I knew after a while you would start to see I had too many scars and had too little to give Too eager to die and afraid to live. You walk in and I walk out You whisper sweet then fucking shout I hear your dreams and deepest fears You tell me the things I want to hear, I will leave when you arrive. I was your lucky charm, your shooting star Kissing in the back of my parents car. I gave so much more than I ever asked for, But I won't run back to you anymore. I will leave when you arrive. Scared to lose you but more

Once upon a time, life had a meaning.  Life was so much closer to me than death, for the first time in my life.  A magic kiss woke me from my suicidal stupor, knocking me off my feet and showing me a world where things could sparkle, where magic was real.  I didn't understand, I was afraid of this new place.  I entered, but only so far as my prince did.  I smiled, only as wide as he.  We wandered and explored and though he had been here before, he assured me he had not.  I believed as much as I could, poor sap that I was.  I treaded lightly in his heavy footsteps, my elfin boots tiny compared to his more experienced angel's.  I became his sha